7. Marketing/Advertising bods.

I don't hate them of course, I was one! I just dislike the fact that they do stuff that is designed to mislead us and tempt us to part with our hard earned money. They're clever people and, probably more so than psychologists, social workers, priests etc., they understand the way we humans think and act.

I suppose what I really do hate is when non marketing, non scientific people quote the crap that marketers produce as fact. Examples:

You must keep hydrated by drinking at least 2 litres of water a day.

Fat is bad for you. Something containing 2% fat is better for you than something containing 3% fat.

Margarine is healthier than butter.

Red meat stays in your gut for 3 years.

It's made from natural ingredients so is healthy (lead, uranium and shit are naturally occurring!)

Anyway heres some stuff that marketers are telling us that we let wash over us without questioning it......

cactus nutri flavins
apricot extracts and shimmering pigments
balanced swiss botanicals
magnesium and multi vitamins
3 times sleeker
100% more volume and perfectly individual
70% more radiant colour
+ 80% colour radiance protection
upto 70% less frizz
upto 80% more volume
upto 70% smoother
90% more toned
20% more fade resistant colourant
your face could be 20% more firmer
with rigennium xy
gentle wheat proteins
a patented formula in anti aging technology
retinol A
fruit essences
double the shine result
with proteins and active minerals
contains clearex
matifying microsponges
anti friz serum with microfruit oils
pro vitamin formula
duel action of co enzymes
smart foundation to balance skin
extra rich volumising lather
with grape seed extracts and ceremides
collagen boosted
it's activia multiplies skin defense levels
micro particles and crystals
activiacell improves skin quality
with active fruit concentrate
lysate of L. Bifidus
unique pro argin formula
youthgen technology
smart tone technology
freshness after 10 hours (intensity score of nearly 3!)
new Elvive - even more science
with the LR2412 molecule
dimensional colour
Vaseline - Stratum Corneum
Argenine
touch hold technology
inea inchi oil
actipearls to neutralise odour (that's fanny odour!)
Nivia - 100 years of feeling closer
skin surface moisture barrier
Smart pigment capsules
infused with liquid light technology
nanasomes of pure retinol A
microdermabrasions
with hydrospheres
micropolutants in the cell matrix
specially selected ginger captured in it's purest form
equaderm
with active soy SP15
Amino/pro-V complex
3 dimensional shine
soft scabulets
resurfacing exfoliator
optimising moisturiser
enriched with firming pieriplastol pyroastyl
BOSWELOX
Powerful formulas enriched with LR 2412 + Perline-P
adds luminosity to your face

So next time you're pondering over which bubble bath/shower gell/ soap to buy just remember they're all basically the same; sodium laureth sulphate and water, so just buy the cheap Aldi one. (unless it contains matifying microsponges of course, who can resist those?!)